Abusive Relationship

Abusive Relationship: Is Sexual Abuse worse than Emotional Abuse?

We hear always a lot about sexual abuse or rape, special when an unknown person did it. The other parts what is very common today which gets a lot of publicity is sexual abuse of children.

But what about the victims who are sexual abuse from their spouses? There are two types of sexual abuse in a Relationship;

1. Been explodes to too much sexual activity from the spouse that physical scares appearing and damages to the organ.
2. The other part is withholding sexual activity from the spouse and using porn’s and/or other partners.


In both cases the abuser use their controlling power to destroy their partners self-esteem and self-confidents. This is the only way they can overpower their own emotional scares from their childhood, is to control and have power over another person and they believe that is reality of life.

They are very good in the game of an abuser! Every abuser is locked into a pattern of been lovely, charming and kind – the honeymoon phase, than they building up the tension until they explode and become a physical abuser, then they slip back into the sorry phase. There excuses are that it is not their fault, but someone pushed them to lose self-control and than they go back into honeymoon stage. It is a kind of a situation that they are the victim and the other needs to feel sorry for them and their behavior. In their eyes and in their mind it was never their fault. Each time the pattern repeats so more the victim will lose to get out of the relationship. They develop more the guilt that it was their fault and it will change as it was on the beginning, they will give up on themselves just to keep the abuser happy.

Most likely the abuser has a history of abuse in long-term form and done by someone nearest and dearest. They developed an identity disorder or also called multiple personality, which is the outcome from early childhood abuse through oral humiliation and physical abuse. This violation of trust leads into disorientation, fear, depression, and suicidal ideation, or into overwhelming emotional aggression which than transforms into violence, rage, and hatred to any other human.

The abused are deformed from the abuser, and many are develop a mental health disorder and dysfunctional behavior. The abuser always wants to be in control of the other person, and they will imprint it as a permanent presence into their victim’s mind. Abused or abuser never case the hurt, recrimination and they living in a denial or rationalization as a part of act in life.

Physical damage can easy be fixed, but emotional or verbal abuse is harder to erase out of the victims mind. Some are good to reprogram their mind and move on in life, like nothing ever happen before. While other get a handle on it until a situation comes up again which brings all memories and pain up to the surface.

In conclusion, any sexual or physical wound can heal, because our body will heal any kind of physical wound. Emotional wounds are very serious and when they are neglected, they will destroy the whole mental and physical health. The important part is to know why it is happen and learn out of it and than to move on with life by letting go the past. Every revenge or hatred to that person will only hurt themselves and keep them as prisoner in their own mind.

Gudrun Smith
Easy Online Marketing Coach
210-279-4317
sky: gudrunsmith
http://momshomebasedbiz.com
http://easy-online-marketing.com

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How do You feel Today?

Easy Online Marketing Tips: How do You feel Today?

One Easy Online Marketing tip is, that you will reach the results in the way you feel right now! Are you feeling the strong confidence that you are moving closer to your goals with your home based business or are you frustrated and want to give up?


Having fun to own a home based business and marketing it easy on the Internet comes from your passion and love to do this job. The love to get the job done sits deep inside your heart. Love and the connection inside your heart also gives you the power and energy to face all the challenges that are thrown into your way. You will enjoin your journey and be so happy to see your growth and change.

In the process to change our life and become successful with a home based business, you must undergo changes in the way you think and how you handle challenges or situation. You can not keep the same mindset you had for years and expect different results. To get different results you must change, see yourself to be successful and see yourself as a leader. A leader leads his company and manage his people, he see’s the big picture with the short term and log terms goals. A leader has the confidence that make other to respect him and follow him. A Leader feel the power inside them and know they can reach whatever they want. A leader does not need to do all the work by themselves, but they have the knowledge, they know how to get the information and supervisor others, they lead them and motivate them on the way.

Now the question for you: How do you feel right now? Do you feel great and know you will get the job done with whatever challenges are thrown on your way? Or are you frustrated, you feel angry, you are not willing to do the job, but you want the money and in the same time you can not see yourself to become successful? Are you in this group? Than you will not become successful!

So when you feel low on energy, have doubt you ever will make it, or you are angry against rich people you have to stop right now! You have to do a lot of work on your emotion and inside work. You must invest into your personal development and clear out all this garbage and clatter inside yourself. Yes, there are issue inside yourself who are put in there when you maybe was much too young to understand it. Maybe just look around in your family! Did your parents made good money and had a great lifestyle or are you raised in struggle and disharmony?

When this was the fall, just let all the past go and become very peaceful and feel the powerful energy arising inside your heart, than you are ready to make your life successful. Just listen inside yourself and ask how you feel! The way how you feel will tell you that you move closer to a successful home based business or away. So more you feel good so faster you will reach your success, when you feel miserable so more you are moving away from success!

Start Today to feel better!

Gudrun Smith
Easy Online Marketing Coach
210-279-4317
sky: gudrunsmith
http://momshomebasedbiz.com
http://easy-online-marketing.com

Have an Attitude of Gratitude!

Understand the power of words and be aware what you are talking about. Some people will say that this are just words and have no meaning until you take action, but this is the biggest mistake you can make.

Complaining is not based on the circumstances or agreeing with somebody else, but it is the attitude in your heart. Forget everything you ever had heard and understand that what ever is going on inside your heart will show up in your life. Most people and I done it too in my past, were waiting that something on the outside will change than the inside will than change. This is when you have it than you will get it and feel it. This was this biggest mistake I done in my life and it cost me the most money, I put it up as the biggest challenge and I became so depressed and unhappy. It was not nice special under my circumstance and I wanted people to understand were I was coming from and I wanted to here from the outside that all this was not my problem and that in reality I am a great person. WOW, this was really hard work and so more I done so worse it became. Did this sound familiar for you?


In reality this is so easy. Stop complaining and just focus to feel good about yourself and start to be thankful for everything. Yes, I said everything! Start been thankful that you be alive, that you breath this air. Start going down your body, even when something is not ok, just think it can be so much worse. This will help you start moving, than be thankful about your family, your place you live in, the people in your life or at work. Be thankful that you have a job, and so on and there is always something you can be thankful. When you have a challenge to find it, just think about people who don’t have what you have and you will see fast that you have many blessings. When you have a heart of gratitude, you start to feel so good with a positive attitude which allows you now to bring your desire and the right people into your life. Just don’t allow the poison of complaining holding you back to receive your deepest desire.

Decide today to live a life of thanksgiving!

Gudrun Smith
Easy Online Marketing Coach
210-279-4317
sky: gudrunsmith
http://momshomebasedbiz.com
http://easy-online-marketing.com

Unhealthy Relationships

An Unhealthy Relationship is when one person gives everything into the relationship while the other only takes the part he wants. In other words to understand it better, Unhealthy Relationships are not in balance of both parties to reach for the same outcome.

A healthy relationship is in balance and both parties are looking forward for a life together, as lovers, as a team and as a family. Both are giving everything into this relationship and they also protect it as they protect their family.

Today’s reality and the trend is the Unhealthy Relationship, which leads into jealousy, fights, harassments, depression, divorces, kids are raised from only one parents, poverty and crimes. More and more kids do not know what a family with both parents is like, and most of them are ending also in an unhealthy relationship.


They see that an Unhealthy Relationship as the reality and that real family is old fashion or just fantasy images from some movies. The person who is still able to see what a healthy relationship is all about is still connected with nature and is able to bring others back.

What I really mean is that in a healthy relationship both becoming so powerful, full of energy and be able to create a wonderful, powerful family and lifestyle. While the Unhealthy Relationship is toxic, it draws all energy out, it destroys families, create health problems and easy leads into financial disaster with drug abuse

On the other hand deep inside everyone here on earth wants to be loved, been with their soul mate, live an abundance, harmony lifestyle, been healthy, have fun and joy. Now why are people not transforming what they really want? Why are they choosing a miserable life over a blessed life?

The answer for an Unhealthy Relationship is deep inside yourself and compares your wants with your feeling. Are they matching? Are you feeling the high energy for what you want, do you see the pictures and take the action to reach for it? Or are you just using the other person or your spouse as a punching bag and blaming them for the hate you feel about yourself, you punish your spouse because you feel the need to be punished, your self-esteem is so low that you must control the other person, because you never was been loved and believe that your spouse has no right to love you. You may say that’s not true, just listen to the negative chatter in mind and it is not so much the words you say, but the words you think and feel are creating your tomorrow.

You can easy change from an Unhealthy relationship into a healthy relationship when you really want it and be willing to do the inside work.

Gudrun Smith
Easy Online Marketing Coach
210-279-4317
gudrun@gudrunsmith.com

http://easy-online-marketing.com
http://momshomebasedbiz.com

Signs of a Bad Relationship with Abusive Behavior

Every Abusive Relationship has from the beginning on red flags and warning signs that it will be a bad relationship with abusive behavior. The Problem is that when we fall in love we ignore this warning sign and talk our self out by putting everything into a positive light and ignore the facts.

I never thought that I will end in a bad relationship and been abused. I was living out my young adult years, I done great in my job; I trained my horses, went to shows and on the weekend was party time. We were wild, had fun, smoked and drank, but no drugs or stupid behavior that got you into trouble.

Suddenly everybody around my age got married and started a family. I was in my mid twenties and ready to meet the man to settle down and have kids. I meet my ex-husband and we start dating.
Everyday he wanted to see me and he even showed up at my work and act to be a customer just to be around me. He wanted only to spent time with me without my friends or his. He played me by telling me things a woman loves to hear and him as the poor guy who was kick out the house when he was eighteen to join the military and sent oversea.

Suddenly he got the notice to be ready to shipped out to “Desert Storm” in a few days and he wanted fast marry me, because I was the woman he ever dreamed of and he didn’t wanted to lose me. My friend, he knew him from work warned me and told me that this is my biggest mistake but he refused to tell me why. When I question my ex-husband he just told me that they didn’t get along, because my friend was messing around and his wife accept it. This was a sign of starting a bad relationship with an abusive behavior by isolating me and putting my friends against me.

When he returned from Desert Storm he play the poor guy just returning from war and needed time to adjust (in reality he never was on the front line and never saw a fight, only on TV). His family told me that he was first married to the military and than to me, so back off and leave him alone. Than he played me out against my family and they felt sorry for him. When I was pregnant he beaded me up that I was in the hospital for one week, but it was not his fault.

At that time I wanted to leave him, but than he came crawling and begging me to forgive him, he was under too much stress and just snapped. I was stupid and let him back in. Than the Circle of the abusive behavior started with sorry feeling and that it was not his fault that I was out of control and he just need to get me out of it. After that the honeymoon phase kicked in, after a short time the tension starts building up and than came the explosion and abuse, than the circle started again.

In the same time you start believing that you done something wrong, and that you can make this relationship to work. I started to avoid situation that can make him angry when he is in a bad mood, make sure everything is fine that there is no ticker moment. Than the emotional abuse which destroyed total my self-esteem and confident. He told me that looking into my face turned every men off and he felt dirty been sexual active with me. The worse thing what happen is that they know which bottom to push that makes you explosive and a sign that they have you under control.

These are the sign of a bad relationship and it never will change, because their abusive behavior is nothing else than a mirror picture how they feel inside about themselves. They are the problem and not you, and when you have kids it teaches them the wrong image about relationship and they also can become abuser. My tip, when you start dating someone and you see the red flags get out of this relationship, don’t ignore them and listen to your inside voice before you waist your time. You never can change a man and he never will, but you get what you see, and when it sounds too good – something is wrong big time.

Gudrun Smith
Easy Online Marketing Coach
210-279-4317
gudrun@gudrunsmith.com

http://easy-online-marketing.com
http://momshomebasedbiz.com

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Abuse and what is really wrong in our society

Today we have so many dysfunction families and abuse of spouses and children. Everybody want to be in love and been loved, but we are seeing more and more the opposite? What is really wrong in our society?

To answer this question we have to go back into history and back into our childhood were everything started. It all goes back how we are programmed from our parents, teachers, peers and society. We were programmed from people who not know it better and we are programming our children. So to really change and bring real family value back into our society we must first know why we are what we are and than from that point we start the correction to improve our life and family life.

All the way back to the middle age, man were the hunters, providers and protectors of their families. They were hunting to find a woman and show her that he is good enough for her and that he can provide for her and their future children. When they found the woman to settle down with, their job was to provide the family with food, shelter and to protect his family. The woman job was to run the household and taking care of the children.

The woman had the power to choose which male was good for her, can provide for her and will be a good husband, father and let her shine on his side. As you may know, behind every great man is a great woman, and a woman is like a flower, with the man love, support and respect she transform into a beauty, strong and powerful flower, when she not get it she dies. On the other hand a married couple has much more respect and power in the society than a single person.

When a man went to war, the woman took over until his return. While some women were not so lucky they were forced to provide than for their kids until they remarried. It was not really too long when the single or widow start competing against men and influence even some wives against their husbands. Women start to compete against men in the workforce and start chasing after them. There is no need any more for a man to hunt for a woman; he can pick up whoever he wants and dumps her when he moves on o another. More and more women destroyed themselves by trying to catch a guy with a pregnancy or even to buy him; they will do everything for him when he just will stay with her. See, in the past a woman had so much power and this balance you still find today in Mother Nature.

Because we are out of Balance, more and more people are depressed, confused, some building a brick wall around them to avoid to get hurt and others thinks that the other person own them or he/she needs to give it to them so they may feel better. In the workforce women compete against men to proof that they are better and more and more women are entering the men area. Women are competing against men and corruption also plays a big role who is better. Because they are under so much stress with competing at work they bring it home into their family.

Be continue….

Gudrun Smith
Easy Online Marketing Coach
210-279-4317
gudrun@gudrunsmith.com

http://easy-online-marketing.com
http://momshomebasedbiz.com

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